Sentence starters {Drunk Edition}

"I swear to drunk I'm not God!"
"I've had too many alcohols..."
"I'm not *hic* drunk."
"Your face looks *hic* funny..."
"What if polar bears wore *hic* tutus?"
"Should I take off my shirt?"
"I wanna dance on the table!"
"I'll hit you *hic* fist with my face!"
"Friends tell me we have enough alcohol."