‘ That’s r o u g h kid —- assholes put me on that when I first processed in. If you value being able to take a shit, don’t take the meds they give you. I’ve been cheeking them and trading them in for eyeliner and it’s better to do that than sleep all the fuckin time.’
SHE DIDN’Tsleep at all, not that someone she barely knew needed to know it. the NIGHTMARES would return, taking control of her body away from her. though she forced the idea from her head, they were soaked in her own ( guilt ). it was better she remain awake as much as she could. the place was more bearable in the dark anyhow.
‘ I WILLnot swallow ANYTHING they try to force into me. I am not an animal. you can take them for all I care. I don’t need anything, so they’re worthless to me. get yourself some lipstick to go with the eyeliner. ‘
“If you want to stand in that line ———— be my guest. I’d rather not stand with half of Litchfield in my underwear.”
‘ BELIEVE ME,I don’t. but they have me on ‘ depression watch ‘ until they feel my eating habits return to ( normal ). as if they have a RIGHT to define my appetite. I can’t stomach the thought of food right now. ‘
INITIALLY SHE was only going to brush the comment off. whether it was with GOOD INTENT or not, she was so tired, and so unlike whatever addicts and money launderers she now lay beside. they had only hurt themselves, she had hurt everyone else. it seemed, however, the heat of her tongue could not subside, however, and the words burned beside her teeth.
‘ YEAH NO, I’m great. I’m in a BOX next to a bunch of self-righteous assholes who don’t know what real, heinous crimes actually are. if you knew me ———- you wouldn’t breathe the same air as I do. ‘
SHE SAT back into her bunk, eyelids closing. not wanting the return words, not wanting anything but the sleep she hadn’t had in months. the sleep which only came with nightmares.
( it’s not a surprise when the girl raises her voice –––– – her lips, consciously or not, have been opened ever so slightly since evette stepped into her PERIPHERAL view ––– – another fancy word she’s learned in med school. well, fuck that; fuck that & never tell anyone. she’s amongst ANIMALS now. might as well try to fit in. ) ‘ congrats, you’re not fucking blind. ‘
‘ SADLY, no. ‘
she folded tissue paper sheets with little care, just enough to pass inspection, and turned to the girl with ( a m u s e m e n t ) on her features and arms crossed over her chest. still, no eye contact.
‘ AND WHAT are you in for? cursing in front of your mother? ‘
she may have lost her MIND, but she had not lost her bite.
It took rather a lot to PROVOKE Norma, and she had been in Litchfield long enough to learn who to listen to and who to ignore. Still, more often that not people didn’t bother her. Norma’s silence and calm exterior meant that most people didn’t view her as a threat, and the others knew that should she be crossed, her friendship with Red would mean that it would only end badly for them.
Over the years, Norma had gained a keen insight into the ways people used their words. As a woman who chose nonverbal communication over speech, it was clearer to her than most others when people were talking too much. Which in a place like this, was more often than not. Her attention was caught by the woman in the bunk beside hers, and she placed down the book she had been reading to graciously - and perhaps a little surprised by the gesture - took the food, raising it sightly with a nod and a short but soft smile of thanks. Both hands raised up and she looked around her own bunk to show the other that she didn’t have anything to trade, kindness rarely came without expectations from a lot of girls.
SHE RAISED her palm wordlessly, as if to covey that she expected nothing in return. she avoided the cafeteria most days, the smell of food ( n a u s e a t e d ) her, she could scarcely stomach anything anymore, but she’d managed half the granola bar. it was a start, at least.
she hadn’t made eye contact with near ANYONE since her arrival, it was a dangerous venture to her, to even SUGGEST that she wanted anything to do with any such prison ‘ c o m m u n i t y ‘. still, she couldn’t keep her gaze from norma’s, or so she thought was the name she’d heard. there was a TRANQUILITY to her evelyn had seldom known. if only this woman knew what she’d done, she’d turn away, she was certain.
❝If I were you, I’d avoid goin’ to the restroom so late in the day. I’d recommend sometime around 5 or 6 AM, or when the girls are eatin’ lunch. Otherwise you gonna be stuck in there with a bunch of catty bitches.❞ sitting up in her bed, Sophia told the new woman.
SHE NODSwith neither a rude nor friendly inclination. she was actually not at all OPPOSED to the woman she was to bunk with, feeling a rather selfish connection in their understandings of ( o s t r a c i z a t i o n ), though she was hardly interested in connections of any sort. she hardly had control over her own mind, she had no time to deal with any others.
SHE NEVER makes eye contact, though that doesn’t mean her attention isn’t still focused when needed. she notes the girl is in ORANGEstill, a bit amused ( as always ) at the presence of confusion and ( f e a r ) possessed. she was there for life, as it were, she had to find amusement in something ––––––––––––––– unless she wished to lose what was LEFT of her mind.
AS MUCH as she normally despised those who had turned to such INSOLENT optimism within the confines of the prison, she found ( s i l e n c e ) to be of the highest praise she could give. how she could’ve nearly KILLED for more of it, and the company of one who neve r spoke back, even when provoked, was oddly soothing to her.
she had always been a bit of a HOTHEAD, as it were, but she found more and more that her voice was profoundly unnecessary. and this woman, how she refused to be IGNITED by such flaming speech, it was admirable. such things had blown her into trouble far too many times to count. her eyes drifted to norma’s bunk from over the cinder blocks, breaking off a piece of her granola bar and offering it with little emotion either way.
‘ jesus. and i thought my girlfriend’s temper was B A D.’
‘ if you’re under the impression that ANY of us get through this without gaining ANGER, you’re wrong and I’m sure of it. luckily for ME, I already have it. ‘
